BE NOT HIGHMINDED, BUT FEAR" 301 could in the case of concubinage. The reins of the throat, then, have to be held with a moderation,-neither too loosely nor too tightly. And who is there, O Lord, who is not carried away a little beyond the bounds of necessity? Whoever he is, he is great; and let him magnify Thy Name. But I am not he, for I am a sinful man. But yet I too magnify Thy Name; and He "maketh intercession" to Thee' for my sins-He Who 66 overcame the world," numbering me amongst the weak members of His Body,3 because "Thine Eyes have seen that which is imperfect, and in Thy Book all shall be written."4 CHAPTER XXXII. How, with regard to the Charms of Perfumes. WITH the enticement of sweet odours I am not much concerned. When they are absent, I do not miss them; when they are present, I do not eschew them, yet I am ready always to be without them. This is how it seems to be with me; perhaps I am deceived. For that darkness also is to be lamented, in which I cannot discern what capacity I possess, so that my mind, inquiring into herself of her own powers, finds it not easy to give credit to herself; because even that which is in it, is mostly concealed, until it is revealed by experience. And no one ought to be sure in such a life, which is throughout called "a temptation," 5 that he who could be made better from worse, may not also from better become John xvi. 33. 3 1 Cor. xii. 22. 5 Job vii. 1, V. Rom. viii. 34. 2 302 THE CHARMS OF MUSIC worse. Our one hope, only confidence, only security, is Thy Mercy. CHAPTER XXXIII. How, with regard to the Pleasures of the Ear. THE HE pleasures of the ear had more firmly entangled and captivated me; but Thou hast broken these bonds, and set me at liberty. Now in those melodies which Thy words breathe life into, when they are sung with a sweet and trained voice, I confess, I take some satisfaction; yet not so as to be held fast by them, but so as to rise when I will. However, coming as they do, with the words which are their life, that they may gain admission into me, they seek in my affections a place of some dignity, and I find it difficult to assign them a fitting one. Sometimes, indeed, I seem to myself to bestow on them more honour than is proper, when I feel our minds to be more piously and fervently kindled into a flame of devotion, by the holy words themselves when they are thus sung, than when they are not so sung; and that all the affections of our spirit, according to their sweet diversity, have their corresponding measures in the voice and singing, which are excited by I know not what occult relationship. But the gratification of my flesh, which ought not to be allowed to enervate the soul, oftentimes beguiles me, while the sense does not so wait upon reason as to follow it patiently; but having gained admission merely for its own sake, it strives to forerun it and to take the lead. Thus in these things I sin unconsciously, and afterwards I am conscious of it. But sometimes avoiding over-anxiously this very ITS USE AND ABUSE 303 snare, I err by too great strictness; and sometimes so greatly, as to wish that every melody of those sweet tunes which are often used to David's Psalter were banished from my ears, and from the Church itself; and that seemed a safer course to me, which I remember to have been often told me of Athanasius, Bishop of Alexandria, who made the reader of the psalm to intone it with so slight an inflection of the voice, that it bordered on reading more than singing. But yet, when I recall my tears, which I poured forth at the songs of Thy Church in the very outset of my recovered faith, and how now I am touched, not merely with the singing, but with the things sung, when they are sung with a clear voice and most suitable modulation, I acknowledge again the great utility of this practice. Thus I fluctuate between the danger of gratifying oneself, and the experience of profiting; being drawn rather (though not as pronouncing a decided opinion) to approve the custom of singing in the Church, that so by the delights of the ear the weaker soul may rise to the affection of devotion. Yet, when it happens to me to be more touched by the singing than by what is sung, I confess that I sin penally; in that case I would rather not hear the singing. Behold now my state; weep with me, and weep for me, ye who so rule your inner being as that good results follow. As for you who do not so act, these things will be of no consequence to you. But Thou, O Lord my God, hearken; behold and see, and have mercy and heal me1-Thou, in Whose sight "I have become a riddle to myself,” and “this is my own infirmity." "2 1 Ps. vi. 2. · Ps. lxxvii. 1O. How he is, in reference to the Allurements of the THE Eyes. HERE remains the pleasure of these eyes of my flesh, concerning which I now utter my confessions which the ears of Thy Temple hear,—those brotherly and kind ears; and so to include the temptations of the "lust of the flesh," which still agitate me, groaning and "desiring to be clothed upon with my house which is from heaven." The eyes love fair and varied forms, bright and pleasant colours. Let not these things take hold of my mind; let God possess it, "Who made" these things "very good" indeed; but He is my Good, not they. And these are in contact with me during all the hours I am awake, nor am I given any rest by them; as I am by melodious voices, which sometimes subside altogether into silence. For the light, the queen itself of colours, pervading all things which we see, wherever I may be through the day, in its manifold undulations, soothes me when I am working at anything, and not observing it. And so greatly does it insinuate itself, that if it be suddenly withdrawn, it is longingly sought for; and if it be long absent, the mind is saddened. O Light which Tobias3 saw, when, with his own eyes closed, he taught his son the way of life, and went before him with the feet of charity, never making a Or again, which Isaac4 saw, his fleshly false step. 1 2 Cor. v. 2. 3 Tobit iv. 2 Gen. i. 31. 4 Gen. xxvii. "LEST THEY BEHOLD VANITY" 305 eyes being heavy and dim with age, when he was enabled, not discerning them, to bless his sons, but in blessing them discerned them. Or that which Jacob' saw, when he, also blind with great age, with illumined heart, in his sons, threw light upon the different tribes of the future people, pre-signified by them; and laid his hands, mysteriously crossed, upon his grandchildren by Joseph, not as their father outwardly willed to see them placed, but as he inwardly discerned. This is the light, the one light, and one are all who see and love it. But that material light of which I was speaking, with a seductive and dangerous sweetness, seasons this world's life for its blind lovers. But those who know how to praise Thee for it, take it up in Thy hymn," O God, Whose creatures all things are," and are not taken up with it in their sleep. Such would I be. I resist the seductions of the eyes, lest my feet, by which I walk in Thy way, should be entangled ; and I lift up to Thee invisible eyes, that Thou wouldest "pluck my feet out of the net." 3 Thou dost continually pluck them out, for they are often entrapped. Thou ceasest not to pluck them out, but I often stick fast in the snares, laid for me on every side; for “Thou that keepest Israel shalt neither slumber nor sleep."4 How innumerable are the things, made by divers arts and manufactures, in garments, shoes, vessels, and all sorts of contrivances, in pictures also, and various images, and these going far beyond what is necessary 1 Gen. xlviii. xlix. 2 The first line of a hymn of S. Ambrose which was sung a the beginning of the night. 3 Ps. xxv. 15. U 4 Ps. cxxi. 4. |