CONVERSION OF VICTORINUS 2 I 197 Babylonian dignity, as from the "cedars of Libanus,” which the Lord had not yet "broken," ' he thought the whole weight of their enmity would rush down upon him. But after that, by reading and attention, he had derived firmness, and feared to be "denied by Christ before the holy angels, if he feared to confess Him before men," and appeared to himself to be guilty of a great offence, in being ashamed of the Sacraments of the humility of Thy Word, and not being ashamed of the sacrilegious rites of proud demons, in which he had partaken and whose pride he had imitated, he became shameless against vanity and shamefaced toward the truth, and suddenly and unexpectedly said to Simplicianus (as he himself told me), "Let us go to the Church; I wish to be made a Christian." But he, not containing himself for joy, went with him. And when he had begun to be imbued with sacramental instruction, not long after he gave in his name, that he might be regenerated by Baptism-Rome wondering, the Church rejoicing. "The proud saw, and were wroth; they gnashed with their teeth and melted away."3 But the "Lord God" was to Thy servant his hope, and "he regarded not vanities and lying madness.” 4 Finally, when the time arrived for making a profession of his faith (which at Rome, they who are about to approach Thy Grace are accustomed to deliver from an elevated place in the sight of the faithful people, in a set form of words which had been committed to memory), he said, that the priests offered Victorinus to make his profession more privately, as the custom was with some who through bashfulness 2 Luke ix. 26. 1 Ps. xxix. 5. 4 Ps. xl. 5. 198 TRIUMPH OVER HUMAN RESPECT dreaded it; but he preferred to make confession unto salvation in the presence of the holy multitude. For it was not salvation that he taught in rhetoric, and yet he had publicly professed that. How much less, then, ought he to fear Thy meek flock when pronouncing Thy word, who had not feared to deliver his own words before mad crowds! When, then, he ascended to make his profession, all, as they recognised him, uttered his name one to the other, with a murmur of congratulation. And who there did not know him? And there ran in a subdued voice through the mouths of the rejoicing multitude, "Victorinus! Victorinus !" Suddenly did a burst of exultation rise, that they saw him; and suddenly was it hushed, that they might hear him. He pronounced the true faith with admirable boldness, and all wished eagerly to draw him to their very heart-yea, they embraced him with love and gladness; such were the hands of their embrace. O CHAPTER III. That God and the Angels rejoice more in the GOOD God, what is it which makes man rejoice more at the salvation of a soul despaired of, and rescued from greater peril, than if there had always been hope for him, or the peril had been less? For Thou also, O merciful Father, "dost joy over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, that need no repentance." And with great delight do we hear, when we hear with what joy Luke xv. 7. I WHERE SIN ABOUNDED, GRACE ABOUNDS 199 "the sheep which had strayed is brought back upon the shepherd's shoulder," and "the piece of money is restored to Thy treasury, the neighbours rejoicing with the woman who found it:" and the joy of the solemnity of Thy house forces us to weep, when we hear in Thy house of Thy younger son, that he "was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found." Thou, indeed, rejoicest in us and in Thy angels, holy through holy charity. For Thou art ever the same; for all things which are not eternal nor changeless, Thou for ever knowest in the same way. What, then, passes in the soul, when it is more delighted with the things which it loves, when they are found and recovered, than if they had never been lost? Yea, for other things testify to this; and all things are full of witnesses, crying out, "So it is." For instance—the victorious commander triumphs; yet he would not have conquered unless he had fought, and the greater the peril in the conflict the greater the joy in the triumph. The tempest tosses the sailors, and threatens shipwreck; all become pale at impending death: sky and sea grow calm, and they joy much, because they feared so much. A dear one is sick, his pulse forebodes danger; all who desire that he may be restored are sick with him at heart there is a favourable turn, he gradually regains his power of walking, and there is such joy as there was not before when he walked sound and strong. The very pleasures also of human life are gained by appointed and pleasurable toil, and do not fall out to us unex pectedly, and come upon us against our wills. There is no pleasure in eating and drinking, unless it be pre 200 JOY, ENHANCED BY PREVIOUS SORROW ceded by the pain of hunger and thirst. And drunkards eat something salt to inflame themselves with a burning thirst, which when the drink allays it, brings pleasure. It is appointed also that the betrothed bride should not immediately be given up, lest the husband should value her less, because he had not longed for her for a while first. The same holds good in base and abominable delights; and in those which are permitted and lawful; in most sincere and honourable friendship; in him, too, "who was dead, and is alive again; had been lost, and was found." Everywhere the greater the joy, the greater the trouble which preceded it. What means this, O Lord my God, whereas Thou art everlasting joy to Thyself, and some things around Thee are ever rejoicing in Thee? How is it, that this portion of things ebbs and flows, is now alienated, then reconciled? Is this their mode of being? Is this all Thou didst assign to them, when from highest heaven to lowest depths of earth, from the beginning even to the end of time, from angel even to the smallest worm, from the first motion to the very last, every kind of good thing, and every just work of Thine, Thou hast appointed to each its place, and ordered each in its right season? Woe is me! How high art Thou in the highest, how deep in the deepest! and Thou departest nowhere, and hardly do we return to Thee. THE GREAT HAVE GREAT OPPORTUNITIES 201 CHAPTER IV. Why we should rejoice more in the Conversion of Nobles. ACT, O Lord, and do; stir us up and recall us ; inflame and draw us; give ardour, grow sweet to us; now let us love, let us run. Do not many from a deeper hell of blindness than that of Victorinus return to Thee, and draw near to Thee, and are enlightened, receiving that light, which they that receive, receive from Thee ". power to become Thy sons"? But if these are less known to the people, those who do know them, rejoice less on that account. For when many rejoice together, in each there is an overflowing joy, for they kindle themselves and are kindled by one another. Then, because they are known to many, they influence many towards salvation, and so take the lead amongst many who follow them. And therefore the joy of those who preceded them is greater, in that they rejoice not in them alone. Otherwise may it never be, that in Thy tabernacle the persons of the rich should be preferred before the poor, or the noble before the ignoble,when rather "Thou hast chosen the weak things of the world to confound the strong; and the base things of this world and the contemptible, and the things which are not as the things which are, that Thou mightest bring to nought things that are." And yet this same "the least of Thy Apostles," by whose tongue Thou didst utter these words, when through his warfare, Paulus, the proconsul, whose pride being conquered, was made to pass under the I Cor. i. 27, 28. 1 1 John i. 9, 12. 2 |