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THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.
IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.
Logicians have but ill defin'd
As rational the human mind;
Reason, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can. .*' '%
Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius, jj - v
By ratiocinations specious, , ' ^
Have strove to prove with great precision,
With definition and division,
Homo est ratione preditum;
But for my soul I cannot credit 'em.
And must in spite of them maintain,
That man and all his ways are vain;
And that this boasted lord of nature
Is both a weak and erring creature.
That instinct is a surer guide
Than reason, boasting mortals' pride;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,
Deus est anima brutorum.
Who ever knew an honest brute
At law his neighbour prosecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,
Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?
O'er plains they ramble unconfin'd,
No politics disturb their mind;
They eat their meals, and take their sport,
Nor know who's in or out at court,
They never to the levee go
To treat as dearest friend a foe:
They never importune his grace,
Nor ever cringe to men in place;
Nor undertake a dirty job,
Nor draw the quill to write for Bob,1
Fraught with invective they ne'er go,
To folks at Paternoster-row:
No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters,
No pickpockets, or poetasters,
Are known to honest quadrupeds,
No single brute his fellows leads.
Brutes never meet in bloody fray,
Nor cut each others' throats for pay.
Of beasts, it is confess'd, the ape
Comes nearest us in human shape,
Like man he imitates each fashion.
And malice is his ruling passion:
But both in malice and grimaces
A courtier any ape surpasses.
Behold him humbly cringing wait
Upon the minister of state:
View him soon after to inferiors,
Aping the conduct of superiors:
1 Sir Robert Walpole.
He promises with equal air,
ON A BEAUTIFUL YOUTH STRUCK BLIND BY LIGHTNING.
IMITATED FROM THE SPANISH.1
Sure 'twas by providence design'd, Rather in pity than in hate,
'See The Bee, p. 8, ed. 1759.
A NEW SIMILE.
IN THE MANNER OF SWIFT.1
*long had I sought in vain to find
Imprimis, pray observe his hat,
1 Printed among the Essays (the xxviith).
VARIATIONS. * I long had rack'd my brains to find.
A brain of teather! very right,
In the next place, his feet peruse,
Lastly, vouchsafe t' observe his hand, Fill'd with a snake-encircled wand; By classic authors term'd caduceus, And highly fam'd for several uses. To wit—most wondrously endued, No poppy water half so good; For let folks only get a touch, Its soporific virtue's such, Though ne'er so much awake before, That quickly they begin to snore. Add too, what certain writers tell, With this he drives men's souls to hell.
Now to apply, begin we then; His wand's a modern author's pen; The serpents round about it twin'd