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and have every day numbers of considerable men teasing me to solicit [210 for them. And the ministry all use me perfectly well, and all that know them say they love me. Yet I can count upon nothing, nor will, but upon MD's love and kindness. They think me useful; they pretended they were afraid of none but me; and that they resolved to have me; they have often confessed this: yet all makes little impression on me. Pox of these speculations! they give me [220 the spleen; and that is a disease I was not born to.—Let me alone, sirrahs, and be satisfied: I am, as long as MD and Presto are well:
that is all we want; and so, farewell, dearest MD; Stella, Dingley, Presto, all together, now and forever all to- [230 gether. Farewell again and again.
May 31, 1712. I'll say no more to oo tonite, sellohs, because I must send away the letter, not by the bell, but early: and besides, I have not much more to say at zis plesent liting. Does MD never read at all now, pee? But oo walk plodigiousry, I suppose,—You make nothing of walking to, to, to, ay, to Donybrook. I walk too as much as I can, [240 because sweating is good; but I'll walk more if I go to Kensington. I suppose I shall have no apples this year neither, for I dined t'other day with Lord Rivers, who is sick at his country house, and he showed me all his cherries blasted. Nite deelest sollahs; farewell deelest Rives; rove poor Pdfr. Farewell deelest richar MD, MD, MD, FW, FW, FW, FW, FW, ME, ME, Lele, ME, Lele, Lele, [250 richar MD.
Nov. 15, 1712. Before this comes to your hands, you will have heard of the most terrible accident that hath almost ever happened. This morning at eight, my man brought me word that Duke of Hamilton had fought with Lord Mohun, and killed him, and was brought home wounded. I immediately sent him to the Duke's house, in St. James's Square; [260 but the porter could hardly answer for
tears, and a great rabble was about the house. In short, they fought at seven this morning. The dog Mohun was killed on the spot; and while the Duke was over him, Mohun shortening his sword, stabbed him in at the shoulder to the heart. The Duke was helped toward the cake-house by the ring in Hyde Park (where they fought), and died on the [270 grass, before he could reach the house; and was brought home in his coach by eight, while the poor Duchess was asleep. Macartney, and one Hamilton, were the seconds, who fought likewise, and are both fled. I am told, that a footman of Lord Mohun's stabbed Duke of Hamilton; and some say Macartney did so too. Mohun gave the affront, and yet sent the challenge. I am infinitely concerned [280 for the poor Duke, who was a frank, honest, good-natured man. I loved him very well, and I think he loved me better. He had the greatest mind in the world to have me go with him to France, but durst not tell it to me; and those he did, said I could not be spared, which was true. They have removed the poor Duchess to a lodging in the neighborhood, where I have been with her two [290 hours, and am just come away. I never saw so melancholy a scene; for indeed all reasons for real grief belong to her; nor is it possible for any body to be a greater loser in all regards. She has moved my very soul. The lodging was inconvenient, and they would have removed her to another; but I would not suffer it, because it had no room backward, and she must have been tortured with [300 the noise of the Grub Street screamers mentioning her husband's murder to her ears.
I believe you have heard the story of my escape, in opening the ben-box sent to Lord-Treasurer. The prints have told a thousand lies of it; but at last we gave them a true account of it at length, printed in the evening; only I would not suffer them to name me, having been [310 so often named before, and teased to death with questions. I wonder how I came to have so much presence of mind, which is usually not my talent; but so it pleased God, and I saved myself and him; for there was a bullet apiece. A gentleman told me, that if I had been killed, the Whigs would have called it a judgment, because the barrels were of inkhorns, with which I had done them [320 so much mischief. There was a pure Grub Street of it, full of lies and inconsistencies. I do not like these things at all, and I wish myself more and more among my willows. There is a devilish spirit among people, and the ministry must exert themselves, or sink. Nite dee sollahs, I'll go seep.
Nov. 16. I thought to have finished this yesterday, but was too much [330 disturbed. I sent a letter early this morning to Lady Masham, to beg her to write some comforting words to the poor Duchess. I dined to-day with Lady Masham at Kensington. She has promised me to get the Queen to write to the Duchess kindly on this occasion; and tomorrow I will beg Lord-Treasurer to visit and comfort her. I have been with her two hours again, and find her [340 worse. Her violences not so frequent, but her melancholy more formal and settled. She has abundance of wit and spirit; about thirty-three years old; handsome and airy, and seldom spared anybody that gave her the least provocation; by which she had many enemies, and few friends. Lady Orkney, her sister-inlaw, is come to town on this occasion, and behaved herself with great human- [350 ity. They have always been very ill together, and the poor Duchess could not have patience when people told her I went often to Lady Orkney's. But I am resolved to make them friends; for the Duchess is now no more the object of envy, and must learn humility from the severest master, Affliction. I design to make the ministry put out a proclamation (if it can be found proper) against [360 that villain Macartney. What shall we do with these murderers? I cannot end this letter to-night, and there is no occasion; for I cannot send it till Tuesday, and the coroner's inquest on the Duke's body is to be to-morrow, and I shall know no more. But what care 00 for all this? Iss, MD im sorry for poo Pdfr's friends; and this is a very surprising event. 'Tis
late, and I'll go to bed. This looks [370 like journals. Nite.
Nov. 18. The committee of council is to sit this afternoon upon the affair of Duke of Hamilton's murder, and I hope a proclamation will be out against Macartney. I was just now ('tis now noon) with the Duchess, to let her know LordTreasurer will see her. She is mightily out of order. The jury have not yet brought in their verdict upon the cor- [380 oner's inquest. We suspect Macartney stabbed the Duke while he was fighting. The Queen and Lord-Treasurer are in great concern at this event. I dine to-day again with Lord-Treasurer; but must send this to the post-office before, because else I shall not have time; he usually keeps me so late.
JOSEPH ADDISON (1672-1719)
From THE CAMPAIGN, A POEM TO HIS GRACE THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH
But, O my muse, what numbers wilt thou find To sing the furious troops in battle joined!Methinks I hear the drum's tumultuous sound 275
The victor's shouts and dying groans con-
And, pleased the Almighty's orders to perform, Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.
The spacious firmament on high,
With all the blue ethereal sky,
And spangled heavens, a shining frame,
Their great Original proclaim.
Th' unwearied Sun from day to day 5
Does his Creator's power display;
And publishes to every land
The work of an Almighty hand.
Soon as the evening shades prevail,
What though in solemn silence all
JOSEPH ADDISON (1672-1719) AND
From THE TATLER
No. 1. Tuesday, April 12, 1709
Quicquid agunt homines
—nostri est farrago libelli.
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Though the other papers, which are published for the use of the good people of England, have certainly very wholesome effects, and are laudable in their particular
kinds, they do not seem to come up to the main design of such narrations, which, I humbly presume, should be principally intended for the use of politic persons, who are so public-spirited as to neglect their own affairs to look into trans- [10 actions of state. Now these gentlemen, for the most part, being persons of strong zeal, and weak intellects, it is both a charitable and necessary work to offer something, whereby such worthy and well-affected members of the commonwealth may be instructed, after their reading, what to think; which shall be the end and purpose of this my paper, wherein I shall, from time to time, [20 report and consider all matters of what kind soever that shall occur to me, and publish such my advices and reflections every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday in the week, for the convenience of the post. I resolve to have something which may be of entertainment to the fair sex, in honor of whom I have invented the title of this paper. I therefore earnestly desire all persons, without distinc-^o tion, to take it in for the present gratis, and hereafter at the price of one penny, forbidding all hawkers to take more for it at their peril. And I desire all persons to consider, that I am at a very great charge for proper materials for this work, as well as that, before I resolved upon it, I had settled a correspondence in all parts of the known and knowing world. And forasmuch as this globe is not trodden [40 upon by mere drudges of business only, but that men of spirit and genius are justly to be esteemed as considerable agents in it, we shall not, upon a dearth of news, present you with musty foreign edicts, and dull proclamations, but shall divide our relation of the passages which occur in action or discourse throughout this town, as well as elsewhere, under such dates of places as may prepare [50 you for the matter you are to expect in the following manner.
All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment, shall be under the article of White's Chocolate-house; poetry, under that of Will's Coffee-house; learning, under the title of Grecian; foreign and domestic news, you will have from St. James's Coffee-house; and what else I have to offer on any other subject [60 shall be dated from my own Apartment.
I once more desire my reader to consider, that as I cannot keep an ingenious man to go daily to Will's under two-pence each day, merely for his charges; to White's under six-pence; nor to the Grecian, without allowing him some plain Spanish, to be as able as others at the learned table; and that a good observer cannot speak with even Kidney at [70 St. James's without clean linen; I say, these considerations will, I hope, make all persons willing to comply with my humble request (when my gratis stock is exhausted) of a penny apiece; especially since they are sure of some proper amusement, and that it is impossible for me to want means to entertain them, having, besides the force of my own parts, the power of divination, and that I can, by [80 casting a figure, tell you all that will happen before it comes to pass.
But this last faculty I shall use very sparingly, and speak but of few things until they are passed, for fear of divulging matters which may offend our su
No. 25. Tuesday, June 7, 170Q.
Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. Whale'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, Our motley paper seizes for its theme.—Pope.
White's Chocolate-house, June 6. A letter from a young lady, written in the most passionate terms, wherein she laments the misfortune of a gentleman, her lover, who was lately wounded in a duel, has turned my thoughts to that subject, and inclined me to examine into the causes which precipitate men into so fatal a folly. And as it has been proposed to treat of subjects of gallantry in the article from hence, and no one [10 point in nature is more proper to be considered by the company who frequent this place than that of duels, it is worth
our consideration to examine into this chimerical groundless humor, and to lay every other thought aside, until we have stripped it of all its false pretences to credit and reputation amongst men.
But I must confess, when I consider what I am going about, and run over in [20 my imagination all the endless crowd of men of honor who will be offended at such a discourse, I am undertaking, methinks, a work worthy an invulnerable hero in romance, rather than a private gentleman with a single rapier: but as I am pretty well acquainted by great opportunities with the nature of man, and know of a truth that all men fight against their will, the danger vanishes, [30 and resolution rises upon this subject. For this reason I shall talk very freely on a custom which all men wish exploded, though no man has courage enough to resist it.
But there is one unintelligible word, which I fear will extremely perplex my dissertation, and I must confess to you I find very hard to explain, which is the term "satisfaction." An honest [40 country gentleman had the misfortune to fall into company with two or three modern men of honor, where he happened to be very ill-treated; and one of the company, being conscious of his offense, sends a note to him in the morning, and tells him, he was ready to give him satisfaction. "This is fine doing," says the plain fellow; "last night he sent me away cursedly out of humor, and [50 this morning he fancies it would be a satisfaction to be run through the body."
As the matter at present stands, it is not to do handsome actions denominates a man of honor; it is enough if he dares to defend ill ones. Thus you often see a common sharper in competition with a gentleman of the first rank; though all mankind is convinced that a fighting gamester is only a pick-pocket with [60 the courage of a highwayman. One cannot with any patience reflect on the unaccountable jumble of persons and things in this town and nation, which occasions very frequently that a brave man falls by a hand below that of a common hangman, and yet his executioner escapes the clutches of the hangman for doing it. I shall therefore hereafter consider, how the bravest men in other ages and na- [70 tions have behaved themselves upon such incidents as we decide by combat; and show, from their practice, that this resentment neither has its foundation from true reason or solid fame; but is an imposture, made of cowardice, falsehood, and want of understanding. For this work, a good history of quarrels would be very edifying to the public, and I apply myself to the town for par- [80 ticulars and circumstances within their knowledge, which may serve to embellish the dissertation with proper cuts. Most of the quarrels I have ever known, have proceeded from some valiant coxcomb's persisting in the wrong, to defend some prevailing folly, and preserve himself from the ingenuity of owning a mistake.
By this means it is called "giving a man satisfaction," to urge your [90 offense against him with your sword; which puts me in mind of Peter's order to the keeper in The Tale of a Tub: "If you neglect to do all this, damn you and your generation for ever: and so we bid you heartily farewell." If the contradiction in the very terms of one of our challenges were as well explained and turned into downright English, would it not run after this manner? [100
Your extraordinary behavior last night, and the liberty you were pleased to take with me, makes me this morning give you this, to tell you, because you are an ill-bred puppy, I will meet you in Hydepark, an hour hence; and because you want both breeding and humanity, I desire you would come with a pistol in your hand, on horseback, and endeavor to [no shoot me through the head, to teach you more manners. If you fail of doing me this pleasure, I shall say, you are a rascal, on every post in town: and so, sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgive what you have done already. Pray, sir, do not fail of getting everything ready; and you will infinitely oblige, sir, your most obedient humble servant, etc." * * * [120
NED SOFTLY No. 163. Tuesday, April 25, 1710.
Idem inficeto est inficetior rure,
Catul. de Suffeno, xx. 14. Suffenus has no more wit than a mere clown when he attempts to write verses, and yet he is never happier than when he is scribbling; so much does he admire himself and his compositions. And, indeed, this is the foible of every one of us, for there is no man living who is not a Suffenus in one thing or other.
Will's Coffee House, April 24.
I yesterday came hither about two hours before the company generally make their appearance, with a design to read over all the newspapers; but, upon my sitting down, I was accosted by Ned Softly, who saw me from a corner in the other end of the room, where I found he had been writing something. "Mr. Bickerstaff," says he, "I observe by a late Paper of yours, that you and I [10 are just of a humor; for you must know, of all impertinences, there is nothing which I so much hate as news. I never read a Gazette in my life; and never trouble my head about our armies, whether they win or lose, or in what part of the world they lie encamped." Without giving me time to reply, he drew a paper of verses out of his pocket, telling me, "that he had something which would entertain me [20 more agreeably; and that he would desire my judgment upon every line, for that we had time enough before us until the company came in."
Ned Softly is a very pretty poet, and a great admirer of easy lines. Waller is his favorite: and as that admirable writer has the best and worst verses of any among our great English poets, Ned Softly has got all the bad ones without book; [30 which he repeats upon occasion, to show