OUR best compliments to Mrs. Gore (who pleasantly assumes the character of
Tom Tug) for her poetical address. She is not aware that the stern attitude of her
tall footman in delivering the volumes of her "Opera" to Fraser, our worthy
publisher, nearly intimidated him to the death. He has since, however, happily
We promise to give the work our minutest attention, and then to have it
bound in the costliest manner, and thus preserved, in memory of the amiable feelings
which prompted the address. We are sure that, under the lovely exterior of the
Woman, Mrs. Gore must possess the heart and generosity of Brenhilda, who was
first vanquished, and then forgave the knight that wrought her hurt; and with the
noble feelings of Count Paris, we wish to be better acquainted with Mrs. Gore.
People describe us as the blackguard - but we are a gentleman by birth, education,
and, breeding, and not-altogether ungainly in appearance: nor are the lively
emotions wholly dead within us.
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Meanwhile we are right glad to have become, by our intrepid criticisms, the cause
of honour to ourselves, and of the sale of Mrs. Gore's works. This only shews how
widely we are read, and what intense curiosity is awakened in the public mind by
our lucubrations. Until the preliminaries for our formal introduction have been
settled, we say to Mrs. Gore, Go on and prosper! -and let her and our motto be,
Take heed of this-betide whatever may-
Drive hard the booksellers, and-make them PAY.
One word more. We have no connexion with either Mr. Bayly or the Omnibus;
although we subscribe to the latter, and admire the former. Now for the lines:-
Tom Tug, Author of "Mothers and Daughters," to the Fraserians.
Scribes who under Fraser ply,
Glorious, Toryous company,
To the field, sirs! - what care I?
"Threaten'd men live long !"
Ye, who like a turban'd Turk
Cut and slash my handy-work-
Bishop all my prose, and Burke
My tender infant song!
By the pricking of your thumbs
Something wicked your way comes-
Bayley! sound your thundering drums!
Fraser! spring your rattle!
Do your worst!-a charmed life
I bear, defying pen and knife-
On, then, to the critic strife-
On, then, to the battle!
Call me blockhead, donkey, knave-
While my books sell, fret and rave-
What makes you mad, makes me brave-
'Tis a glorious quarrel!
Cut, and welcome! - come again! -
Deathless palms your martyrs gain,
Birnam comes to Dunsinane,
Like a wood of laurel!
Omnibus or magazine-
Lo your victim's name is seen,
From Penzance to Aberdeen
Blazon'd black and blue!
Quote me, scorn me, scoff me, rail
In Cambyses' vein all hail!
Friendly foes! - my book can't fail-
Written down by you!
The following ranting missive has come to hand. The writer seems, with great
self-complacency, to forget that the player's calling is infamous in the eye of the
law. The fellow's bluster we laugh at, and his abuse we despise his falsehoods,
however, we must point out. Our pages will shew that REGINA was the very first
to expose the charlatanism of "poor Montgomery." His foolish and ignorant ad.
mirers were his worst enemies-we his best friends, in openly and honestly speak-
ing the truth. Our first notice of Montgomery was about March, 1829; and the
"Quarterlies" were pleased to adopt our tone at a much later date. Here is a
portion of the decent document :-we have not room for all:
"To the Author of the elegant Dramatic Critique in the lust Number of Fraser.
"Sir, There is an article in your Magazine for last month, which, for easy conceit and impudent
coxcombry, beats every thing that has ever before appeared in that praiseworthy publication.
"The attacks on Mr. Bulwer were fair enough-Greek against Greek, coxcomb against coxcomb-
the abuse of Mr. Montgomery mean enough; for he was first knocked down by the Quarterlies, and
then stepped in the doughty champion of REGINA, kicking and punimelling, and belabouring a poor
devil who had no chance of returning a blow. But this attack on theatres, major and minor, is as
arrant an exhibition of bullying cowardice as ever adorned the pages of your Magazine-and this is
making rather a bold assertion.
"Now, sir, I happen to be one of those unfortunate persons whom you have assailed so unmer-
cifully in your last Number-whether at the large or the small theatres, it matters not. My name
may be Shegog or Tett, or Wallack or Macready; but whether I be a star or a candle-snuffer, it really
strikes me that my condition is not quite so degraded as you suppose it to be.
"I make my money (and little enough) by speaking other persons' opinions-you by writing them.
We are both ready to praise or abuse, according to the will of our managers. Should we refuse, I
should lose my guinea a-week, and you, gentle gentlemen of the press, your penny a-line. I don't know
whether I have the honour of writing to the warlike O'Doherty or the classical Mac-Gin, or any other of
Mr. Fraser's attachés; but really, whoever you may be, I can't conceive how you are a whit better than
we poor devils whom you abused so in your January Number, &c. &c.
"Ever, my dear Friend, sincerely yours,
"SCHAUSPIELER."
Alfred Dumoulay, the Secretary of "the Marais Champagne Club," must excuse
the non-insertion of his soirées. The members appear to us, at present, to be a set
of dull fellows; but, at any rate, the writer must give us a key to enable us to un-
derstand the value of their opinions.
JAMES FRASER, 215, REGENT STREET;
JOHN ANDERSON, JUN., EDINBURGH;
Junior United Service,
6th of the Calends of March (bis).
It is with regret I state that I have not time to write an
article for you this month, as I am engaged in half a dozen of the most delicate
negotiations all at once. However, as you have some devilish smart fellows about
you, I may suggest the heads of a few articles. As to foreign affairs, the less you
say about them the better; for, believe me, all this talk about Belgium, Portugal,
Rome, Prussia, Russia, Austria, Turkey, Egypt, Hungary, &c. is merely nonsense,
and nothing else. Every body is holding back his hand until spring, and all the
world knows it. There is a game playing among the diplomatists, each fellow with
a grave face humbugging the other, well assured in his own mind that the opposite
party is up to him. In spring, when troops can move, we shall hear a different
kind of music; until then keep your foreign correspondents in a loose rein-ready,
however, to pull them up when the equinox makes its appearance. Palmerston
must turn out, of course, as soon as any real business is to be done; just now, he is
fit enough to be made a fool of by old Talleyrand. Ponsonby cuts a particularly
shabby figure in that business of Vander Smissen's. I am sorry for it, because
Ponsonby and I were old friends in days gone by, sub regno Harrietta. Apropos,
if you have any influence with the King of the Netherlands, drop him a hint that
the sooner he gets rid of Falck, the better it will be for himself. They say, indeed,
that Wilhelm Konig cannot shake off his gouty ambassador, because they are too
deeply dipped together in stockjobbing, and some speculations in tan-pits and old
clothes; but this I don't exactly believe. I can assure him that Falck does mischief
to his cause here.
In domestic politics, keep your eye upon a new modification of the Charles Street
Club, or, as its ill-willers call it, the Charles Street Gang. They are making it into
a sort of regular Brookes's. One or two good fellows are on the committee-my
friend Vyvyan, for instance-but otherwise they are doing every thing to insult the
honest Tories, like you and me. Just think of their having the face to reject the
Duke of Newcastle for a committee-man; and but that old Eldon made it a sine quâ
non, they had a notion of blackballing his grace even as a member. I do not wish
to divide any farther a party which, Heaven knows, is divided enough already, so I
shall not mention the names of the persons on whom, I fear, the blame ultimately
rests; but the ostensible agent is Charley Ross, who, if all I hear be true, is well
worthy of a flagellation. This must be seriously thought on.
More in my next.
As for the Plunkett job of which you write to me, never mind it. Plunkett is
done. Even the ministers must give him up now. With respect to Hobhouse,
why, my dear sir, who ever thought him any thing else but a placeman determiné or
prononcé?-which you please.
The most important motion, after all-for reform is a humbug now-is Baring's
for allowing M.P.'s to be arrested. Talk of the violations of Magna Charta after
that! Why, Magna Charta is consult Oliver Cromwell. But if M.P.'s are to
be arrested, who the devil would go into parliament ? Haud ego vel Cluvienus.
Neither I nor Tom Duncombe. But I must break off.
Ever yours,
The report that I am the commander-in-chief of the St. Giles's division of
Don Pedro's army is wholly unfounded. Sartorious sacked all the money, and why
should I go?
JAMES FRASER, 215, REGENT STREET;
JOHN ANDERSON, JUN., EDINBURGH;
We have now given the last of the Rev. Edward Irving's letters. We are not
supporters of his spiritual views and religious doctrines, as many journals have
been pleased to denominate us. We, however, are upholders of Mr. Irving's
strict integrity and honesty; for a man of purer intentions does not exist.
the manner of treating his subject, we wish he had confined himself to facts,
and not indulged in speculation: as it is, he is exceedingly welcome to the room
which he has occupied in our pages. When the matter comes before the General
Assembly, we shall perhaps give a decided opinion upon the question.
A friend of ours has spun, for our delectation, a long yarn in praise of Oliver
Yorke, O'Doherty, the Ettrick Shepherd, the Modern Pythagorean, Delta, Galt,
the Independent Pittite, and other contributors. Listen to what he says of
ourself: --
"If you're in search of larning, or critical discerning,
Pray converse with sage OLIVER YORKE, Sir-
Renown'd for perspicacity, and logical sagacity,
(And good at the knife and the fork, sir)."
Not less sublime is the tribute he pays to our friend Ebony, and our own
Publisher:
"In the north, Bailie Blackwood, whom Whigs fain attack would,
Is potent as czar or czarina;
In the south, Bailie Fraser cuts sharp as a razor,
And the weapon he wields is REGINA."
Well done, Tibbs! You are a man of discrimination; but we cannot afford
you further room, though we shall be thankful for further favours.
The young lady who writes the ode, beginning-
"Come away, and let us twine a
Beauteous wreath for fair REGINA,"
has our best thanks. Her poem, though somewhat L.E.L.-ish, shews good stuff,
and shall have a place by and by.
Our very best thanks to Coadjutor. His letter and packet were unavailable,
as REGINA had already finished her toilette to shine forth in due glory on April
Fools' Day.
We hope shortly to be enabled to mention Dr. Webster's admirable and
conclusive pamphlet on Cholera in a comprehensive form.
We are much indebted to our friend A. N. of Edinburgh. We will certainly
bring out a double Number shortly. He may be sure that the non-fulfilment of our
promise, in this respect, has not proceeded from want of matter. To say nothing
of accepted papers, our very Balaam-box, which contains materials that would
be the salvation of half a score of other Mags, would make a bonfire large
enough to roast all the Radicals, Trimmers, Shufflers, Whigs, Infidels, and
Atheists, in the country. The subjects to which A. N. alludes shall severally, in
due time, be continued and completed.
Mr. Charles Butler can never have courted the presence of REGINA else
would he have known her to be no warbler of Ballads.
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