XIV. She liked the English and the Hebrew tongue, But I must leave the proofs to those who've seen 'em, But this I heard her say, and can't be wrong, And all may think which way their judgments lean 'em, ""Tis strange-the Hebrew noun which means I am,' "The English always use to govern d-n." XV. XVI. In short, she was a walking calculation, Miss Edgeworth's novels stepping from their covers, Or Mrs. Trimmer's books on education, Or" Cœlebs' Wife" set out in quest of lovers, Morality's prim personification, In which not Envy's self a flaw discovers, To others' share let "female errors fall," For she had not even one-the worst of all. XVII. Oh! she was perfect past all parallel— So far above the cunning powers of hell, Her guardian angel had given up his garrison; Even her minutest motions went as well As those of the best time-piece made by Harrison: In virtues nothing earthly could surpass her, Save thine "incomparable oil," Macassar ! (2) XVIII. Perfect she was, but as perfection is Till they were exiled from their earlier bowers, (I wonder how they got through the twelve hours) Don Jóse, like a lineal son of Eve, Went plucking various fruit without her leave. XIX. He was a mortal of the careless kind, With no great love for learning, or the learn'd, Who chose to go where'er he had a mind, The world, as usual, wickedly inclined To see a kingdom or a house o'erturn'd, Whisper'd he had a mistress, some said two, But for domestic quarrels one will do. XX. Now Donna Inez had, with all her merit, And such, indeed, she was in her moralities; And sometimes mix'd up fancies with realities, And let few opportunities escape Of getting her liege lord into a scrape. XXI. This was an easy matter with a man Oft in the wrong, and never on his guard; And even the wisest, do the best they can, Have moments, hours, and days, so unprepared,. That you might "brain them with their lady's fan ;" And sometimes ladies hit exceeding hard, And fans turn into falchions in fair hands, And why and wherefore no one understands. XXII. 'Tis pity learned virgins ever wed With persons of no sort of education, Or gentlemen, who, though well-born and bred, I don't choose to say much upon this head, Inform us truly, have they not hen-peck'd you XXIII. Don Jose and his lady quarrell'd—why, Not any of the many could divine, Though several thousand people chose to try, 'Twas surely no concern of theirs nor mine; I loathe that low vice curiosity, But if there's any thing in which I shine "Tis in arranging all my friends' affairs, Not having, of my own, domestic cares. all? |